venice_diaries

It was reported during the campaign that President-Elect Obama had read all of the Harry Potter books to his children. Then came the picture of him with his Apple laptop with the Pac Man decal. Finally, it's been reported that he's an avid collector of Spider-Man and Conan comics. Naturally, this caused some Chuck Norris-style riffing among me and some friends of mine. Then it just got out of hand.  This is a partial list of what we came up with.  For more examples, accreditation of specific lines, and future entires, visit the LJ of skyblade , specifically this entry:

Obama staunchy believes the Balrog did not have wings. The Peter Jackson movies are grandfathered in, but he's initiating a statute all new polystone figures have go without them.

Obama has a secret service agent guarding his Boba Fett action figure. But he keeps the extra limited edition one in his safe

Obama thinks Romulans have a cooler language than Klingons.

Obama will only watch costume dramas when he finds out a former Dr. Who was in them.

Obama called the hotline to kill Jason Todd.

Obama complains about X-Files mythology episodes, but those are the ones he tapes.

Obama says Michelle reminds him of Kitty Pryde.

Obama's lj is named after a Kurt Vonnegut reference. He only started reading him after he died, but he feels quoting Terry PRatchett or Douglas Adams was "too obvious"

Obama believes there's only one true Transformers continuity, but won't say which to remain multi-partisan. (Hint: It's Beast Wars)

Obama preferred it when G4 was Tech TV. He'd do Kirstin Holt, but knows deep down she's not a real gamer.

Obama only really likes the first season of Battlestar Galictica, but soldiers on to feel relevant.

Obama is pissed the Watchmen are referring to themselves as the Watchmen in the movie.

Obama wanted to be President just so he could storm into places and tell people he's a Big Damn Hero.

Obama plans to start the second term with "Let's be bad guys!"

Obama secretly joked on the campaign about McCain being a "wee puppet man."

Obama wishes Vimes was real so he could put him in charge of the War on Terror. Obama knows Vimes would end that sh*t in five minutes and then smoke a cigar.

Obama's nickname for Rahm Emmanuel is "Vimes".

Obama will bring peace between the Kirk and Picard factions.

Obama got the nomination because Michelle would wear the Princess Leia bikini every time he won a primary or caucus.

Obama secretly goes online to troll Harmonian communities.

Obama played a fifteenth level elven fighter/thief/mage. And got away with it.

Obama has promised to keep the white wolf on the endangered species list if--and only if--White Wolf brings back their old World of Darkness.

Obama always has a window open for Fandom Wank.

Obama wears a V for Vendetta mask and cape in the bedroom with Michelle. And he looks fierce doing it.

Obama has a life-sized Boba Fett action figure.

Obama ships Hagrid/Dumbledore. For the hell of it.

Obama has been banned from all Con masquerades since he wins every prize, including the ones he doesn't qualify for.

Obama will not talk about the mysterious "Masked Moor" who appears at SCA wars, flirts with all of the women, drinks all of the mead, talks about hope and change, and then proceeds to kick everyone's asses in one-on-one combat.

Obama supposes that he will have Bruce Springsteen and Stevie Wonder at his Inaugural Ball. But his private party headliner will be Weird Al Yankovic.

Obama had to be talked out of appointing Captain America Secretary of State, and only acceded when he remembered that he was dead.

Obama knows that Captain America is not really dead.

Obama has all of the Chad Vader vids favorited on his YouTube account.

Obama holds a "Once More With Feeling" and "Dr. Horrible's Sing-a-Long Blog" karaoke party at his place on Fridays. And he knows all of the words.

Obama knows more Star Trek trivia than you ever will. He just doesn't see the need to talk about it and scare off the women.

Obama would spend his time with Michelle and the girls whenever he came home from the campaign. And then would stay up all night watching MST3K episodes when they went to sleep.

Obama wants to start his inaugural address with "I have come here to govern wisely and chew bubble gum."

Obama knows that Hal Jordan is the best Green Lantern. But he'd rather hang with Kyle.

Obama is going to name his puppy "G'Nort"

Obama is seeking to fill the position of the Secretary of Awesomeness. Bruce Campbell is rumored to be a strong contender for the new post.

Obama does not buy into all this sparkly vampire bullshit. He does love Growing Up Cullen, though.

Obama does not believe in interfandom fighting. Kirk versus Picard? Joel versus Mike (or the modern version, Cinematic Titanic versus Rifftrax)? He is above that. He wants to bring fandoms together, not tear them apart with fearmongering and wank.