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In Which I Lose My Innocence

 Twilight.

So I found a copy at Larisa's house, and she let me borrow it.

And, um...yeah.

My eyes rolled so much that I'm still dizzy.

To paraphrase our president-elect:  You can put lipstick on a pig, and it's still a pig.  You can put strawberry-scented shampoo and sparkles on a steaming cow patty, and it's still a steaming cow patty.

Of course I need to read the next one now.  

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You give me something to hold on to. My deepest thanks.